Anxiety: How to Care for Your Teen

Anxiety is when someone feels worried or nervous. It is common for teens to feel anxious sometimes. But when anxiety gets in the way of daily activities at home, at school, or with friends, your teen needs your help. Work with your health care provider to help your teen learn to manage feelings of anxiety.

Go to all care visits with the health care provider. They may recommend that your teen see a behavioral health specialist, such as a psychiatrist, therapist, or counselor. Help your teen schedule and go to these appointments.

Lowering stress can help with anxiety. Encourage your teen to:

• Eat a balanced diet.

• Get 8–10 hours of sleep a night.

• Get plenty of physical activity every day.

• Avoid caffeine (including soda and energy drinks).

• Avoid alcohol and other drugs.

• Take time each day to relax.

• Limit screen time (watching TV, messaging friends, being on social media, playing computer games, etc.).

To help your teen when they feel anxious:

Listen. Hear what your teen says about their worries. Say that you know that these feelings are real. Remind your teen that anxiety is a normal feeling.

Face the situation. Help your teen slowly get used to situations that make them anxious. Doing this will help them see that these situations are not as bad as expected and that they can handle them. Getting used to a difficult situation can take time (days, weeks, or months), depending on the situation and how anxious your teen is. It is important for your teen to slowly move toward the situation rather than stay away from it. For example, if your teen is nervous about giving an upcoming presentation at school, they may want to practice by giving the presentation first to you, then to the whole family, then to a few friends — and finally to the whole class.

Offer support. Teens look to adults about ways to respond in new situations or ones that may cause anxiety. Stay calm and let your teen know you believe that they can face their fears. Say something like, "I know this is hard, but I know you can do it." Show your teen that you're proud of them when they accomplish something.

Teach positive self-talk. Work with your teen to learn encouraging self-talk, such as "I can get through this! I've done something like this before!" or "What's the worst that can happen?"

Teach relaxation. Help your teen practice ways to relax, such as deep breathing. Practice breathing exercises when your teen is not anxious. By doing this while they feel relaxed, they'll be ready to try it when they feel anxious. If your teen wants to practice alone, an online tool or smartphone app on breathing or relaxation might help.

Show your pride. Let your teen know that you're proud when they face their fears. They might enjoy celebrating their successes with you or with a small reward. For example, you may take them out to a favorite restaurant or extend a weekend curfew a little bit after they give a class presentation.

Your teen:

• becomes more anxious or their anxiety does not get better

• seems very sad or hopeless

• has a loss of appetite

• loses interest in activities that they used to enjoy

• avoids family or friends

• avoids school or other activities

You are worried that your teen will try to commit suicide (end their life) or they have talked about a specific plan for suicide.

You or your child also can call or text the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.

What are some signs of anxiety in teens? Teens with anxiety can't always show how they feel. Anxiety can show itself in other ways, such as:

• feeling more worried than is expected for the situation

• fast heart rate

• fast breathing

• feeling sweaty or faint

• stomachaches

• headaches

• trouble sleeping

• avoiding certain situations or activities

• seeking an unusual amount of reassurance

• insisting on certain routines to feel a sense of safety

What causes anxiety? Different things can lead to anxiety. Usually, there's no single cause. Going through a loss, trauma, or other hardship can make teens feel anxious. Sometimes it's not clear what led to the anxiety. Anxiety can also run in families.

How is anxiety treated? Health care providers help families understand anxiety and offer strategies to help teens cope. If needed, teens can meet with a therapist. It can take weeks to months of therapy to help some teens with anxiety. Sometimes doctors also recommend medicine.